An Anniversary

We had planned on taking a drive up Provo Canyon that Saturday, to see glorious Autumn and the changes it was bringing to the trees on the mountain. That mountain had become a special place for us, already full of memories.

I suspected the possibility, but not too seriously.

We followed the winding road up toward the top, talking and admiring the beauty all around us. We stopped at one of the turnouts, and after a bit of kissing in the car, we got out for a little hike.

The trail wasn't the easiest, but I happily followed him, taking careful steps down a steep incline until we ended up in a clearing of tall grass.

He stopped to hug me. It seemed strangely deliberate, but I obliged of course.

And then, as we embraced I looked over his shoulder, and there it was...

A red rose, lying in the tall grass.

My first thought? "Oh no. We've happened upon someone else's romantic gesture."

And then it dawned on me.

He was smiling. I picked up the rose. A long, thin piece of paper was curled and tucked carefully into the bloom. Written on it was one of our special memories together.

He led me along a trail through the tall grass, and I kept finding them, red rose after red rose, all with a note, a memory.

I was beginning to cry.

After passing through a gathering of trees there was another clearing, looking out over the hills and valleys. It was dusk. It was beautiful.

There stood a table with a white cloth and a vase full of more roses. Red, and one white rose in the center.

That rose held my last note...a wish that today would be one of the most beloved memories of our lives.

And then Ryan dropped to one knee, held out a ring and asked me the question that changed my life forever. I cried, dropped to my knees too, and said yes without a single doubt in my mind.

8 years ago today.

Lovable, Imaginary Blokes

The other day I stayed up late into the evening to watch the lovely and gloriously long film featuring the gentleman above. And then today I watched it again, but fast-forwarded through to my favorite parts.

It was a joyous thing.

Oh, Mr. Darcy.

Do you ever feel sad that fictional characters are...fictional? Its easy to convince myself the man might have actually existed when his story is set 200 years ago and half a world away. But the sad truth is that a Fitzwilliam Darcy of Pemberley never wooed a Miss Elizabeth Bennet. He is the captivating figment of a brilliant woman's imagination, and nothing more.

Fiction breaks our hearts. Why do we like fiction? Its lies, all lies I say! =)

Nonetheless, I'm becoming more and more impatient for a new film featuring a fictional literary heartthrob from our generation, represented by the gentleman below. Mock me if you will, but I cannot wait!

Always Remember

Today is a busy day like any other day. I had the luck of getting both of my boys napping at the same time and I have a million things I could be doing, but there's a part of me that feels it would be wrong not to acknowledge the significance of this day.

I still find it surreal that such a horrifying and atrocious act of terrorism happened 8 years ago today. I remember exactly where I was when I first heard of the events of that morning. I was in college and not yet married, and I was driving in my car. I flipped on the radio for some music and every station was people talking animatedly. When I began to gather what they were talking about, I couldn't believe it...it was like "War of the Worlds." It didn't seem like it could be real. As soon as I arrived home at my apartment, I ran inside and turned the TV on, yelling for my roommates to come and watch. I was incredulous. I didn't know anybody in New York, but one of my roommates did, and we were terrified for her...she spent the day frantically trying to reach family members and friends while the rest of us were glued to the TV. The rest of the day is a blur to me, but I'm sure I cried.

It baffles me how anyone could commit such an awful crime against humanity. As I sat watching a documentary about 9/11 two days ago, the same feelings of incredulity washed through me as the footage flashed before my eyes again. I cried again. I cried, thinking about how people in those towers phoned their spouses and families to say goodbye, knowing they would die. Thinking about the people who discovered their loved ones were on one of the highjacked planes, and finding out they had died from a newscast. Thinking about the heroic firefighters and so many others who rushed into those buildings to save people, not knowing they were doomed to collapse, and lost their own lives. Thinking about the hundreds and hundreds of missing people flyers, whose families could only hope and pray for the unlikely chance that they were alive. So much loss, so much grief. I give my love and condolences to all those who suffered the loss of friends and loved ones that day.

But even after such a deep blow to our nation, it brought me new pride and confidence in my country as I watched the people of New York City working to help one another, and as I watched our nation band together in strength and pride. We would not let this horrible act of terrorism suppress our American spirit...rather, it reignited it.

I realize our nation is not perfect. There is a recession, there is dissatisfaction with our government in many ways. But despite its flaws, I believe this is a blessed nation, and a promised land. I love my country, and I am proud and grateful to be an American. May all those who seek to harm our country and its people be brought to justice. And may God bless the USA, now and forever.

And I will never forget.

Jacob's Blessing

* Begun 7/30/09*

We blessed our little Jacob on July 12th, when he was right around 2 1/2 months old. It was a wonderful day! We were happy that so many of our family members were able to make it for our special day. Both my parents and Ryan's came, and almost all of our brothers and sisters and their spouses except for a few (we missed you Zane, Amber, Melissa and Seth!). Jacob was blessed the day after Thomas' 3rd birthday party, which was a lot to pack into one weekend, but Sunday was still a great day of getting to spend time with our families celebrating an important day for our sweet baby Jacob.

We have 9 am church and it has been a real challenge for us to get to church on time since Jacob was born. I was so nervous we would accidentally sleep in and miss getting to bless Jacob altogether! Thankfully that didn't happen, even though I was up quite late cleaning up after the birthday festivities the night before. I think I set 2 or 3 different alarms to make sure I got up as early as I needed to! I really wanted the morning to start out on a peaceful note and I tried very hard to make it so that we weren't too rushed Sunday morning. Thankfully the morning worked out so that the house was quiet for awhile (only possible 'cause Tommy slept in!) and Ryan was able to get some time to himself, to reflect and prepare and hold his little infant son while he thought about the blessing he would be giving. He did this with Thomas on the morning of his blessing day as well, and I remember thinking how sweet and special it was. And though we were in a tad of a rush right before getting out the door, we made it to church early! A miracle!!!

Ryan gave Jacob a wonderful blessing. Even though he has told me he's been nervous when giving our babies blessings, he sounds so calm to me, like it comes very easy to him. I won't write the blessing here, but I'm thankful to have the words recorded so we can be able to read it to Jacob someday. Jacob was lucky to have so many priesthood holders from our family helping to bless him--there was Ryan, his dad, his brothers Nathan and Eric, our brother-in-law Jon, my Dad, and my brothers Josh and Travis. And oh yeah...my 13-year-old brother Jared was able to participate in his own way too. He was too young to actually help bless Jacob, but he asked to hold the microphone for Ryan, and I was really glad he got to be a part of it all. =) I was also really grateful that my mom let Thomas sit by her during the blessing, so I didn't have to wrangle him and could really concentrate and listen to the blessing. Jacob was great during the blessing and didn't cry or fuss at all.

After sacrament we took a few pictures outside and then everyone headed over to our house for an early lunch. Since I'd just thrown Tommy's party the night before, I made it easy on myself for Sunday and just bought some sandwich platters and cookies from Costco, and we also had lots of chips and pop left over from Tommy's party. It was an enjoyable afternoon spent eating and talking with everyone, and it was extremely nice for me to have all the stressful parts of the weekend past me!

Though I was worried about the pressure of having both events on the same weekend, I was really glad that our families were able to come and be a part of our special days for both Thomas and Jacob. Ryan and I are so lucky to have not only our own little family with our two sweet boys, but our wonderful parents and siblings and their spouses too. We can honestly say they are our favorite people to spend time with, hands down!

Funny note: I was so worried that Jacob would go #2 and have a blow-out in his white blessing outfit during the short amount of time between when I put him in it (right before we left the house) and less than an hour later when he was blessed. I just sensed somehow that this was going to happen. Well, only moments before it was time for the blessing, Ryan was holding Jacob, and he turns to me and tells me that he felt Jacob just take a great big poo! Jacob was kind of wrapped in a blanket, so I peeked at his outfit, and sure enough, he had leaked. I had brought a second (though not as special) outfit just in case, but it was too close to the blessing to have time to change him, and it thankfully wasn't too big of a leak...not technically a blow-out like I had feared. So for the blessing Ryan just made sure he was semi-wrapped in the blanket so his poo-stain wasn't visible, and I took Jacob out to change him right after the blessing. I just knew it was gonna happen! (Though I ended up leaving him in the outfit until we got home, so he would have it on in our photos after church. The leak really wasn't too bad and I was sort of able to clean it up.)


Another thing was, in all of my work to make the morning go smoothly before we left for church that day, the one thing I didn't manage to do was find time to get a picture of Jacob in his blessing outfit. Then, of course, he soiled it at church, and I took it off the moment we got home. So, when I finally got around to it about a week and a half later, I put Jacob in his (washed) blessing outfit again and took some photos. Better late than never, right? Jacob's blessing outfit was the same one Thomas was blessed in, and they were also both blessed with the same blanket, which was made by my Grandma Kotter. Though the blessing outfit is really simple and not as fancy as some of those little white tuxes or suits, I really love it. I lucked out that it even fit Jacob (which it barely did), because Thomas was blessed at a little bit younger age than Jacob, and the size of the outfit was Newborn. I think it would be fun to have all our sons blessed in the same outfit and then frame it for a keepsake someday!