Happy Nearly New Year! =)

Hello Friends and Family!

I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas holiday! As is somewhat of a tradition with me, sending out Christmas cards or a Christmas email was an intention, but it just didn't happen! Life is busier than ever these days! But it's also fuller and more rich than ever. I thought I'd put a little update out there for folks to read...if you wanna. =)

The biggest highlight of this year was the birth of our beautiful little daughter, Kara Lynn, in late February. Although I guess I shouldn't say little...she was 10 lbs at birth! She arrived quite hastily, waiting only 10 minutes after Ryan and I made the mad rush to the hospital! (That is quite a story...) She has been a light in our lives and an absolute joy. It goes without saying that we all just adore her, and having a little girl is so incredibly fun for me! Her older brothers are so engaging and sweet with her, and surprisingly they aren't too rough with her...most of the time. =) Kara has a gorgeous head of red hair, which has delighted us all since the moment she was born. Her fun little personality emerges more every day, and we love that she has a little bit of feisty-ness, just as a redhead should! She is now 10 months old and always so much fun to watch...she army-crawls at top speed, loves to bop and "dance," and is now starting to try and pull up on things. We can tell it won't be long til she's cruising along furniture and walking. It's amazing to think that in just a matter of weeks she will be turning 1 year old! She is growing up much too fast, as children tend to do.

Our little Jacob is now a bit more than two and a half, and he's becoming more of a little boy and less a toddler every day! He is all boy and loves cars, trucks, trains, planes, and dinosaurs. He is so much fun and so stinkin' cute, despite the fact that a bit of the "terrible twos" are finally starting to kick in. Even when his mischievous, naughty side comes out we often have a hard time not laughing at his antics! He is definitely developing more of a stubborn streak and a determination to get what he wants, and we can't say there is a lack of brotherly fighting that goes on between him and his older brother. But they love each other and have a lot of fun playing together...hearing them laugh together in their room is one of the best sounds ever! =) Jake is a very affectionate little boy and we love that he is always giving or asking for hugs and kisses. Even though he's not the baby of the family anymore, he still gets doted on quite a bit! =)

Thomas is almost 5 and a half and has morphed into a full-fledged big kid! He started kindergarten this year, and even though he's a summer baby and one of the younger kids in his class, he is super tall and stands about a head above all the other kids! He has loved being in school, and even over this Christmas break he has talked about how he's excited to go back. He's learning so much all the time and we are amazed when we watch him, once our first little baby, now learning to read, write and do math! He's a social butterfly and always talkative...he's rarely shy and always has something to say to anyone he meets! He always keeps us laughing with his silly and clever remarks. He is also a big help to his mom now that he has two younger siblings! 

I've spent the year learning how to be a mother to 3, and it has certainly been more work than I've ever done in my life! But I've adapted and even though life is always busy and more than just a little crazy, I'm happy to say our transition to being a family of 5 has gone well. Carving out time for myself is difficult these days, but I'm always trying to find a few minutes here and there to do things I enjoy. I love photography and have a fabulous camera that I received as a gift from Ryan last year. I spend lots of time using it to capture photos of our beautiful kids, and I'm always learning more about photography and trying to improve my skills. It's been awhile since I've done much singing, but this summer I decided to push myself out of my comfort zone (WAY out!) and sang in a local contest, just for kicks. I didn't win or anything, but it was a lot of fun and a total thrill to be up on a stage again! I remembered just how much I love performing and I hope to push myself to do more things like that in the year to come. Overall, I'm really just a big homebody, and some of my favorite times are just watching movies after the kids are in bed! 

Ryan has kept quite busy at work, as always, and we are grateful that his drywall contracting company has continued to have plenty of business. He works incredibly hard to make sure of that! Besides work, he's been keeping up with his favorite things like snowboarding, motorcycling and now he's getting certified in scuba-diving for an upcoming family vacation to Hawaii. It's a good thing he's certifying with his brother because I am way too chicken! Ryan is definitely the adventurer of the family! He is an awesome daddy to our 3 kiddles and he is particularly smitten with our first daughter...which is so fun for me to watch! He loves to rough-and-tumble with the boys and they go running to him when he walks in the door every day. He is also a big help to me with the added work that comes with our growing family...I can definitely say he does the dishes more often than I do, and he is a really, *really* fabulous cook!

Ryan and I also celebrated our 10th wedding anniversary this month! We didn't celebrate with a lot of fanfare (Yet! Hawaii in April!), but the family we have created together over the last decade is our greatest anniversary gift possible, and our truest source of pride.

10 years of being a family has passed so quickly! There are ups and downs all along the way, but we can decidedly say that we are greatly blessed in our lives. We are so grateful for our healthy, happy, beautiful children, our wonderful parents, siblings and extended families, our home, our steady job, and most especially, for the gift of Christ in our lives. Even after Christmas is over, Christ's light continues to shine, brighter than any in the world, and His love and sacrifice are the greatest gifts we have ever received. We wish you all a spirit of light and love in your lives, and we hope the coming year will be your happiest and most fulfilling yet!

Love,

The Laidlaws

No Longer Missing In Action...For Now! =)

So I've logged my record longest absence from blogging...almost a year! I can honestly say I've considered giving it up entirely, since it's often hard to squeeze in time when there are always so many other things I have to get done. But, going back through and reading old posts I've written, I've remembered how much I enjoyed it! So I'll see what I can do about getting back into it. No promises though! =) I did have a couple of posts I wrote months and months back that for some reason I never posted...so I thought, better to post late than never! =) Those are below. I'm also working on a little end-of-the-year family update for all ya'll to read. Didn't get one done before Christmas, but a Happy New Year's letter works too, right? If you know me, you know that punctuality is definitely *not* my strongest suit! =)

Flashback: A Late Announcement (Written 4/27/11 and Previously Unposted)

A very, very long overdue and very important and wonderful announcement:

My sweet baby daughter, Kara Lynn Laidlaw, came into the world on the morning of Sunday, February 27th, at 5:55 am. She was 10 lbs 1 oz and 20.5 inches long. Perfect, healthy and beautiful, with a full head of reddish/auburn hair that we absolutely adore! It's very close to my same color and I'm so delighted that she has that little piece of me. =)

Of course most everybody knows about her arrival already, but I couldn't pick up blogging again without making the announcement official here first. She has been a joy and a blessing. It is certainly an adventure learning how to handle a newborn, a toddler and a preschooler all at once, but I'm surprised at how well I've been able to handle it all! I'm no supermom mind you, but I've been able to manage the chaos better than I expected.

So today my baby girl turned 2 months old. There's no getting around saying it --- time is flying. She looks so different and has grown and changed so much. She's so sweet and really quite simple in her tinyness. Compared to her brothers her needs seem so basic and easy to take care of. No disciplining, no breaking up fights, no trying to entertain or any of that. She just needs to eat, sleep, do her diaper duty, and get some snuggles and loves. That's it. I'm trying to enjoy this time when she's so new, but of course with 2 older kids it's harder than it's ever been to slow down and soak in the sweet tinyness of a newborn. And now she's not even really a newborn anymore! Before I know it she'll be crawling, walking, running, talking. I look at my older children and know its true. I look at my firstborn and marvel that he's almost 5, almost a kindergartener, learning to read and write. I look at Jacob, who such a short time ago was my little baby. Before Kara arrived I used to say I had a heart time knowing he wouldn't be my baby anymore. Sure enough, when Kara was born, he seemed to become such a big boy to me all of a sudden. It almost broke my heart a little that he seemed to change in my eyes so quickly, that he lost his position of being the youngest, the littlest, the baby. It's the way life goes. But giving up seeing your babies as babies, even to another of your babies, is hard.

Anywho...I should hie me to bed. I've had so many things running through my mind lately that I'd really love to start writing/blogging again, but we'll have to see if I can make room in life to get them down. I hope so.

I love my baby girl and I'm excited to finally have a sweet little daughter. Welcome to life sweet Kara!

Flashback: Man, My Boys Are Handsome!!! (Written 2/22/11 and Previously Unposted)

Really though. I know every mother is prejudiced when it comes to her own children, but seriously...

You can't deny it. =)

Lately I've been so busy trying to get things done before this baby girl comes, that I fear these adorable boys of mine don't get enough attention from their mommy. When my nesting instincts are in full swing I start to feel a little crazy...my mind is racing a million miles a minute with my to-dos, and my very-pregnant-and-not-too-agile body lags behind in accomplishing those tasks. Plus my normal night-owl power is fading....nooooo! The battle of my mind vs. my body drives me nuts! I'm really on countdown now and this little girl could choose to make her arrival any day. But, I'm trying to spend more time being with my little boys before their world gets really turned upside down.

I'm not that great at it, but I'm tryin'.

Right now their cute little noggins are off in dreamland, so I gotta get offa here and go do stuff!

But I had to post a couple shots of them. I hope to find a chance to sit down and write a few of their goings-on before their little sis arrives. They are growing and changing at lightning speed, as always. Jacob is saying new words all the time (A current favorite: Iron Man!). I registered Thomas for Kindergarten a couple weeks ago (WHA???).

Boy do I crazy love my boys.

Crazy love is a good description...love them, but they make me *crazy*!

(I just try to remind myself that I'll miss the craziness someday.)  =)

It Flies It Does

Today my baby Jake is exactly 21 months.

I realized earlier that means he'll be two years old in just three months.

Two years old?

*TWO*???

I wish there was a new way to phrase it that hasn't already been used, but honestly, where has the time gone?

I still remember driving to the hospital when I was in labor with him. (A little scary then. Pretty funny now. It involved a phone call from Ryan to his Mom, a nurse, to ask what to do in case he had to deliver our baby on the side of the road.)

I still remember the quiet hours in the hospital room, just he and I playing lullabies for my new little Jacob, admiring at his sweet face, and even what the light coming through the window looked like.

I remember all the insecurity of being a new mother of two, trying to figure out how to take care of two little ones, how I had to learn to accept the fact that I couldn't (always) do two things at once! The anxiety I felt when I had to leave the house alone with both boys for the first time...how it didn't go so well and I thought "How will I ever do this? How do other mothers ever do this?" (Still looking for answers to that one, but the one answer I have come up with: Just embrace the chaos.)

But in all the busy-ness of parenting two children, most of the days of these last two years are much more blurry than I would like to admit. They've passed and blurred and faded much faster than I remember them doing with my first child. Though I know its not unusual, I feel guilty about it. That has probably been one of my biggest struggles since becoming a mother of two...the lack of time to sit and soak it all in with your child. I remember with Thomas I would sit holding him for hours when I didn't have to, I would watch him sleeping all the time. I didn't really worry about rushing off the first moment I could to do everything else possible while he slept. I probably took hundreds of photos of Thomas sleeping, whereas I only have a handful of Jacob. I haven't been as good at *lingering* with Jacob, enjoying those moments. I want to remember forever how he looks when he's perfectly peaceful, off somewhere in dreamland. And now, with this third one on the way, my little girl, I can't help but wonder how hard it might me to just sit for a few minutes and enjoy her newness, her littleness, her delicateness. I want to be able to do that with all my kids! To experience all the phases of their lives, without ever being distracted, without forgetting so easily. But I know it isn't possible. I'm only one person, I can't live three lives, four lives! I wish I could.
Jake is my baby.

I honestly struggle a little bit accepting that he won't be my baby anymore, my "littlest," as I sometimes call him.

He'll be a big brother soon.

He'll have to be patient sometimes when his baby sister needs me more.

He won't be my baby anymore.

And very soon, he'll be two.

And it will just go quicker from there. That's the thing about time....it just gains momentum, it doesn't slow up, it doesn't eventually stay steady, it just goes faster.

I've said many times, I hope they have home videos in heaven. Because no matter how hard I try to document my children's lives in this life...and believe me, I try!...I can't possibly capture it all. No collection of photos or videos will ever truly be able to show me everything. I will miss things. I will forget things. There will be funny moments, poignant moments, common but priceless moments, that will fade eventually with the imperfections of human memory.

But I just can't accept that.

So if I can, during life eternal, I will spend days and hours and lifetimes reliving again and again all the sweet (and even not-so-sweet) days of my babies' lives.

The Countdown is On!

Today I am 35 weeks pregnant with Little Miss Laidlaw.

Wow.

This pregnancy has gone fast, incredibly, oddly fast. I said that about my 2nd pregnancy, but this one is even more speedy. This pregnancy has been particularly interesting also, because, well...

It was more than a third over before I even knew.

Let me just say, Baby #3 has always been "planned"....Ryan and I have always known we wanted at least 4 kids. Maybe 5. (Maybe.) So I will not say this pregnancy was not "planned." It was just....unscheduled. =)

"So....." Someone might ask, "Were your other pregnancies....scheduled?"

Ummmmm....yes. =)

Very much so. We lucked out in the timing department.

But, I didn't expect that to happen with every pregnancy, so I was perfectly happy when in July I suspected and then confirmed that I was indeed pregnant.

The thing was, I had no idea how far along I was. Like...none. I had only stopped nursing Jacob in May, after he turned one, and Mother Nature had not yet, ahem, returned me to my regular course of nature, if yaknowwhatimean. So I had nothing to go off of!

I called my doctor to make the appointment...Dr. Young, my same doc from my first two...and I told them I guessed I was maybe 10 weeks along. But really I had no clue.

I went to my first appointment. My Doc always does an ultrasound at the first appointment.

Well guess what?

According to measurements (or something), he estimated I was already 15 1/2 weeks along!

I felt very surprised and to be honest, a little embarrassed! I had obviously not been in very good touch with my body, or my intuition! I had been having mild nausea, the same I had with my 2 boys, but it did not seem to me that it had been going on that long. And normally my nausea finally peters out at around 16 weeks. So I was almost done!

Of course, being so far along, I couldn't help but wonder....

Could they already tell me the gender?

I asked the doc. He asked if I really wanted to know. Um, YES!!! He teased me, asking if I was sure I didn't want a surprise this time? Um, NO!!! And then he typed "I'm a girl" on the screen.

I was very excited, and, probably a little noisy...you know me. =) But I couldn't help feeling a tad doubtful...I wasn't as far along as one usually is when they have the gender ultrasound. Plus, those were words I had often wondered if I'd ever see...I've often said that I've always had this feeling that I'd end up with all boys. I told my husband that if we never had a daughter biologically we would have to adopt one. Because I cannot go through life without a daughter!!!

Well, I have now had two more ultrasounds, and the tech assured me both times it is indeed a girl. Its a good thing, because I have already been stocking up on girly stuff!

I still can't believe sometimes that I'm having a daughter...it seems surreal to me, almost like its a first-time pregnancy in a way. It will be so different...I've never been mother to a daughter! I'm almost a little scared, because aside from the normal mothering tasks that I've already been doing for 4 and half years, I'll have a new job...I'll be the prominent example to my child, of what she can and will become. My boys watch their daddy, copy their daddy, they want to do all the things Daddy does. I've never had the same responsibility Ryan does in showing and teaching his sons how to be a man. But now, I will be the one to show and teach my daughter how to be a woman! It makes me think a lot about how much better I want to be, and how much better I want her to be than me. Its a very weighty, important responsibility to me and I just hope that I can do it justice!

So here's to 5 more weeks...I'm hoping a tad less. =)

P.S. If I remember, I wanna have Ryan take a baby belly photo of me today, or soon...I haven't taken a single one this pregnancy!

Oh, and Did I Mention...

I'm pregnant!

Actually quite pregnant!

Like less than 6 weeks away from being due pregnant!

(The whole world knows this already. But no matter how late, a blog announcement simply had to be made!)

I'm going to be a mom of three.

THREE.

(I won't deny I'm a little scared. Okay, kind of a lot scared.)

But I'm excited, truly truly, especially because I have a whole lotta this in my future:

I love my two little boys so much, *SO* much, but I am so happy that I get to be the mother of a daughter!

Prepare to hear a lotta schmoozing about this baby girl in the future!

Hello World!!!

And Hello 2011!!!

(Wha? Wow. I didn't write a single post for the whole last half of 2010. Go me!)

Well, I've been arguing with myself about it for quite some time.....

To blog, or not to blog?

Because you know, like everyone else on the planet, I am quite bzzzzzzzzzy.

All. The. Time.

And I could easily just erase blogging forever from what I now call my "Infinite To-Do List"...

"One less thing, woohoo!!!"

But you know, I think I miss it...

So, I guess this means I'm starting up again!

(Me to Self: "Good luck with that Darce.")

=)

I Call Him Fatherest

You know, like "Awesomest" or "Coolest."

My Dad with Jake-Jake at our house on my Mom's birthday.

Hi there Dad!

You may be the very first one to read this in the morning. You, who is usually the one that has to pass news of a new post down to Mom. You, who writes me encouraging little emails when I write a blog post you like (thanks for those, really, they make my day.) I've been thinking for awhile about what I wanted to shout from the rooftops about you...I am one day late, but I most certainly did not forget you on this Father's Day! You know that in recent times punctuality hasn't been my strong suit. =)

World, let it be known that I have an excellent father. My father is so kind and so good. He embodies the idea of patriarch in all the right ways...he is a hard-working, dedicated, loyal, spiritual, good man who leads his family with strength and yet tenderness too. He loves my mother infinitely, I have no doubt he would do anything for that woman...he treats her like his sweetheart and he is always reiterating a piece of wisdom he has acquired in a lifetime of experience (listen up husbands of the world): "Happy wife, happy life." He gave me and my brothers that greatest thing that fathers can give, as the quote goes...he loved our mother. And he continues to do so, strong as ever, 35 years later.

My dad teaches Gospel Doctrine (Sunday School) in his ward. And he loves it. To me this speaks volumes. To me there is nothing more intimidating, more overwhelming than the idea of getting up in front of a gathering of people, many of whom are greatly educated in gospel and scripture, and to confidently deliver and manage a good lesson in Gospel Doctrine. I haven't seen my Dad teach in this most recent calling, but I have in the past, and I can remember and imagine exactly how he is in front of a group of people: comfortable, articulate, engaging, intelligent, and interesting. And, most importantly, full of the spirit. This man loves the gospel and Our Father in Heaven, and he is a great exemplar of Christ. He is a humble man, so he might modestly disagree, to which I would say "Hey dad! Shush! I'm not done yet!" =)

He is also generally a quiet man, but when he is placed among people he has an undeniably gentle charm that is by no means arrogant or affronting. He is charismatic in such an admirably subtle way. I would most certainly call him

a Gentleman.

My dad has always had a talent for teaching, and I'm not just referring to his Church calling or the years he spent as a Junior High School math and science teacher (in Preston, Idaho, at the very school where "Napoleon Dynamite" was filmed. How awesome is that?). I remember many occasions growing up, especially in those dramatic years of my teenager-hood, when some kind of emotional calamity would befall me and I would be lost to the whims of teenaged female drama. (As you can guess, this often had to do with *dumb* boys). On such occasions, the usual parent that came to my aid was my mom, of course. We shared the same hormones, she could understand my feminine ramblings, and it seemed like a natural thing for her to be the one to help me in working through my latest "tragedy." But, my mom and I are highly emotional creatures. At times when my mom and I tried to work through my drama, the emotional quotient would spike and continue increasing exponentially until both of us were left exasperated, upset or depressed. It was at this time that my dad would step in. I usually didn't appreciate it initially. His application of male logic often made me feel he rejected my emotions, that he didn't truly understand or appreciate the feelings I was experiencing. But even in my hesitancy to accept his alternate ways of thinking, I almost always found myself calmed and comforted by the counsel he gave me. It wasn't always easy to accept, oh no. But it was usually very necessary for me to hear, in order to move forward, to take the steps necessary to remove myself from an emotional mire. I don't think I realized it at the time, but my dad was simply trying to teach me to be a strong woman. He wasn't trying to ignore my emotions or act indifferent to whatever I was suffering through...he was simply trying to teach me to make choices that defied negative influences or ways of thinking, to take my life and feelings out of the hands of unworthy, miserable, *dumb* people.

That was one of the biggest lessons I remember being hammered into my head growing up...the concept of "What you give is what you get." That when a person projects positivity into the universe, the universe responds accordingly. So really, choosing to fill up your life with negative thoughts, actions or people is a sad sorry waste, because the universe will eventually just take a poo on you!

Aaaaaaaand we're there.

Sorry Dad.
*Inside Joke*
(Let me just say though, that statement was not planned, I promise it was absolutely spontaneous!)

I'm always working to remember the excellent counsel you gave me through the years Dad, and continue to give. I am certainly not without need of it as an adult...in fact I could probably honestly say I need it now more than ever. I'm so grateful for all you taught and continue to teach me, and for all you did and still do for me. I never realized until I became a spouse and parent myself, just how much hard work and effort it takes to truly be the man of the family. You have done it with grace, unconditional love and, I must say, undeniable patience!

(Especially when it comes to potty humor.)

=)


P.S. To The Husband

I promise I didn't forget you! But man its late and my eyelids are drooooooppyyyyy. And you are always telling me to get more sleep. So, please refer to the schmoopy card I wrote you. I do want to say for the world to know, you are a wonderful father. Our little boys are so lucky to have you for their rough-and-tumble daddy. =)

Backlogged Blog

I have been SO lazy about blogging for the last while.....sooooooooooo lazy. The weather finally decided to ditch the schizophrenia and summer has arrived, hallelujah! Life is speeding up and I am falling behind...that is, more behind! Its so hard to feel like blogging when at any one time there are approximately 1,274,891 other things I could be doing. And need to be doing! Seriously, my house, its never clean. It approaches clean and I get all excited, and then it explodes again. I even *think* about blogging, its immediately followed by a thought like "Hmmm, maybe I should make sure we have some clean dishes or clothes first." And its so lovely out now, it seems a shame to spend my free time with electronics indoors.

Speaking of electronics...I am psycho. I finally got my first DSLR camera one week ago....*angels singing*...but have yet to even open the box because I'm having second thoughts about the model I chose. (If anyone has any knowledge of photography equipment, I got a Canon T1i, but thinking maybe I want the Nikon D90 instead. Any insight would be wonderful!) I'm doing more research, looking at the cameras in-store, trying to decide whether to exchange mine or not. But either way, I'm excited that I'm finally getting my new "toy" and hopefully soon I will be gracing this blog with fabulous pictorial gems documenting this lovely summer season!

Anyhoo. There was so much stuff from the last few months that I've written nary a word about, like my baby boy's first birthday almost TWO months ago! And now June is two-thirds over!!! Wha?!? Time, seriously, what is it about you, you just don't stick around!

So I'm going to attempt a little catching up. Here I goooooooo.....

For My Mommy (A Day Late)

(My lovely mommy with one-week-old Jacob during one of those helping-me-get-my-head-screwed-on-after-becoming-a-mother-of-two visits. I think I'm still trying to get my head screwed on straight!)

Hi Mom!

I meant to write this last night.

But guess what? I went to bed!

(I was at my mother's house last night. It was late when we left and before I got in the car she told me to "Go to bed!" when I got home. I am not good at going to bed, even when I very, very, very much should. She knows this and she was doing what good mommy's do..telling us to do what we don't want to do for our own good.)

Okay I confess Mom, I guess I didn't necessarily go to bed...I fell asleep with Tommy while putting him to sleep, and then a crying Jacob woke me up sometime later and I fell asleep in the glider putting him back to sleep. But you know that's a pretty normal night in my book.

But I did not stay up! That's the point. =)

Well no, that's not the point.

This is the point...

This is my version of shouting from the rooftops.

That my mother is wonderful.

I want the world to know how very, very much I love and appreciate her.

(On Mother's Day and always always always.)

My mother is a tried and true mothering expert. She's been doing it pretty much her whole life. No, really. She was born the oldest of 9 children and grew up on a ranch in Montana. (I love telling people that. Just from that you'd know my mom is awesome. I love that I'm half cowgirl.) She was my grandmother's right hand and helped raise my bitty uncles and baby aunts for years before she had her own children. She learned to work hard and she learned how to be selfless for the sake of loved ones much earlier than I think the rest of us do. She is blessed with a particular talent for selflessness, she's an expert at putting other people first. She's TOO good at it at times!

I was my mom's only daughter, smack in the middle of four brothers. Being the only other estrogen-bearing member of our family, I always had an extra little piece of her time and a little place in her heart that no one else did. Growing up I didn't always appreciate what a blessing that was. I know better now.

I always say my mom has a heart of gold. She's sweet, kind, gentle, and so so forgiving. She just wants people to be happy. She's kind to everyone, amazingly kind. She serves people, and she wants to serve people. She is humble. She doesn't always get me and my brother's weird jokes and sense of humor, but I love that about her...She's demure, she's a lady. She is lovely and always looks nice. She says the most sincere (and longest!) prayers I've ever heard. She is faithful and loves the gospel. She is the best housekeeper on the planet (and I don't care what anyone says, including you mom, that is DEFINITELY a talent!).

And my whole life long, she has always praised her children and expressed her love for us openly. That is invaluable. I have come to realize more and more as an adult just how invaluable.

I have been a mother for less than four years and a mother of two for barely a year. I feel like I can barely keep up with my two kiddos most of the time, but yet I am nowhere near understanding all that she did for me and my siblings. The capacity of my gratitude and admiration for her continues to grow daily and I am always trying to find ways to give back to her. And yet she never expects it. She goes on giving and giving and giving and I know she always will. Because she is herself. I don't think she could possibly be happy unless she was giving to others.

Despite all the headache and heartache and exhaustion and frustration and repetition and work and time I imagine it took to raise 5 children (one of whom she is still raising...she has T minus 4 or so years left with my teenage bro), my strongest memory is that she raised us with joy.

And we are her greatest joy still. She tells me all the time, but I already know.

And that is why I am one seriously, seriously lucky girl.

I love you dearly mommy.

I have more I could say, much much more, but...

I have to go to bed!!! =)

And It Wasn't Even Mother's Day Yet

Its sometime shortly after midnight and I just got home from a night out.

Without the kids.

I love my kids, oh do I, but evenings out without them are a lovely, lovely thing!

Whenever I have those nights I tell myself I really need to have them a tad more often. But then I always forget.

I really need to stop forgetting!

Me and my mom and sis-in-law Amber chowed at Red Robin and then saw Iron Man 2. (Ironically non-feminine for a Mothers Day celebration, right?)

Dinner without children to wrangle and a movie (that just came out) in a theater?

Two very lovely and very rare things.

(And about Iron Man 2, me likey. But it could have something to do with Robert Downey Jr....I got a crush on him way back in high school with "Only You." If you haven't seen it, do. Tony Stark can also play a bumbling, endearing, romantic shoe salesman. And its set in Italy, c'mon now!)

(But ya know, back to Iron Man 2...the "you complete me" snippet from the trailer is not in the movie! That irked me. And Amber too. I don't know why those movie-making-people always decide to cut the best little nuggets from the trailers out of their finished, full-length features! Irked.)

(Anyhoo!)

After the movie we all said g'night, and I even enjoyed making a quick late-night stop to Smith's for a couple things. Alone. Without kids, running inside really quick really was just running inside really quick! And I bought myself a magazine I always want but never buy. Whether I'll find the time to read it is another question, but I felt spoiled buying it anyway!

Heck, the radio even spoiled me. It treated me all the way home with great tunes. I loved that I could turn it up as loud as I wanted during "Hey Soul Sister," "Just Haven't Met You Yet" and "If Today Was Your Last Day." No sleeping babies in the car to worry about, no toddlers begging to watch a movie. ("Hey There Delilah" was in the mix too and it made me happy, even though for awhile there I and the rest of the planet thought that song was getting really old.)

When I got home, it was "Man! I Feel Like a Woman!" playing and when I pulled into the garage where Ryan was being manly and working on his dirtbike, I rolled down my window so he could hear it. And then I got out and danced before turning the car off.

I think he could tell I had a good time. =)

And, no tired grumpy babies for me to worry about scooping out of carseats and into bed. They were all tucked in and snoozing soundly.

The night was lovely. Lovely lovely lovely.

(I really like the word lovely.)

And now I'm typing this and listening to Michael Buble.

And eating cookies I bought at Smith's.

My batteries are charged!

P.S.

I can't forget to mention that I got roses too. Yesterday! Fire & Ice, purdy. Thank you darling. I also can't wait to get my Mother's Day gift. The one I've been pining after for quite some time now. Shortly, I will finally be the proud owner of this baby!

Woohoo!!!

Happy Mother's Day all!

A Little Somethin'

Almost halfway through April, and I haven't blogged once.

(Well, I did, technically, but then refrained from posting. More grumping about the weather. And really, how many posts can I write about the weather?)

(I need to write about Easter. Coming soon.)

But I just wanted to record a cute lil' nugget from this evening, courtesy of Tommy.

(I've been awful at recording the interesting and entertaining thoughts of my going-on-four-year-old lately.)

Tommy's favorite color is red.

Tonight at bedtime he told me, somewhat soberly,

"I wish my bed was red."

I reminded him his bed had some red on it.

Not satisfied, looking quite dismayed,

"Its just white and black."

(He left out blue. His comforter is blue, with construction trucks all over it. And some have red in them.)

He went on,

"I wish my room was red. I wish the door was red. I wish the..."

and so on.

And as I tried to close the door he had quite the grumpy face.

"I'm just mad that everything is not red."

Almost Breaks My Heart

The one year anniversary of the day of your birth is close. I've said it and thought it again and again and will keep saying and thinking it...I don't know how it can be. You turned 11 months four days ago. I can count on one hand the number of weeks until your first year of life is gone forever.

It is coming too soon.

Much, much too soon.

A year since that evening in the hospital? A year since I first saw your face? A year since I first held you and kissed you and named you and brought you home?

How?

I want to write about you, all about you, one more time before you pass that huge mark.

I haven't been nearly so dedicated at writing about you all these months as I would have liked to have been. There was so much, so much I should have, could have written. But, two little boys makes for one busy mommy! Though not all the memories are in type or on paper, they're all in my mind and in my heart, and they are my greatest treasures.

I lived each day with you and loved you to my heart's fullest, and that's what counts.

You are such a beautiful boy.

So beautiful with your blond hair and your curls. I've let your hair grow and grow and it is becoming quite wild. In the last couple of days you've been mistaken for a girl twice. I should probably consider busting out the scissors soon.

But I am struggling to cut those baby curls off forever.

But,

I know whether I do or not,

1 year gone is coming.

Haircut or no haircut, there's no stopping it.

I am struggling with losing my baby forever.

After 1 year old you will still be a baby,

And yet, not.

That word, "toddler"...I don't know if I can use it to describe you, I just don't think I can bring myself to do it.

But you are most certainly on your way to toddling.

Not that you are walking yet...not quite yet.

Your preferred method of transportation is still crawling. And boy, are you quick! I always seem to underestimate how quickly you will get from A to B. How quickly you will get back to that thing I just took away from you in the room clear across the house that I just carried you out of. (You hate it when I do that.)

Though you're not walking just yet, you are certainly working your way there. Pulling yourself up on things and lowering yourself back down is old hat to you, easy peasy. You cruise along the furniture here and there, this way and that, but you're not cruising circles around the living room just yet...you usually hit all fours whenever you really want to move. There have been a few very brief moments where you've let go of whatever you were holding on to and stood there unsupported for a tiny second before plopping back to the floor. We haven't witnessed you make any attempts at steps yet, at least on your own.

And that is just fine with me.

I am not going out of my way to encourage you to take steps on your own just yet.

I am not ready for you to walk.

I am not ready for you to grow up.

You can take as long as you want, I am in no hurry.

I love it when you crawl toward me, sit up on your knees and reach your arms up for me. Or pull yourself to standing on my jeans and cling to my leg until I pick you up.

That never, ever fails to warm my lil' heart. (No matter how inconvenient the timing might be.)

Being needed by you is always nice.

You are getting your top 4 teeth in...maybe even a 5th or 6th too. Such a cute toothy boy, you. But you grind them! Stop grinding them! I know that little discovery is probably very interesting to you, but dear baby, please stop grinding your teeth!

You wave, and oh its cute, it kills me every time. For awhile your wave was a silly sort of leg-slapping arm motion, but now it really is a wave. You wave when you hear "Hi" and "Goodbye." I will never get enough of it, you can wave at me forever.

More things about you...

The desire of your heart is to get to the bathroom.

So you can get to the bathtub.

You love the bathtub and you love baths.

If the door to the bathroom is left open, and especially if anyone is in the bathroom, you make a beeline to get in there and immediately go to check out the tub. You like to pull yourself up and look in the tub, and you're tall enough that you could just lean over and fall right in! Hence, the reason we keep the door shut. =)

When its bathtime and I sit you on my lap and start to run your bathwater you squirm and struggle like there's no tomorrow to get into the water...it is honestly, physically difficult to keep you from diving in headfirst! Once you're in you splash and splash and make a mess to rival those of your big brother.

(Between the two of you I think more of our bathtowels are used to mop the floor than to dry human bodies.)

Changing your diaper is not a pleasant experience for either of us. You.do.not.like.it.one.bit. You are too busy and you are upset the moment I place you on the changing table. You twist and squirm and cry and protest in every way possible until I finally get your bum covered!

I always joke that you are a scavenger. You find the tiniest, and I mean most miniscule little bits of anything that are on the floor and try to consume them. I try to keep those floors clean, but boy, guaranteed, if there is a crumb or anything bigger hiding anywhere (or some remnant of a snack that your big brother left out and within your reach), you will find it. And then when we try to catch you to fish it out of your mouth, you take off running...well, crawling (as afore-mentioned). But run-crawling.

So little, and you already know when you're busted. Its so cute.

Other hobbies of yours are playing with shoes (ew....sorry I always take them away), watching the washer or dryer spin and trying to climb into or pull things out of the dishwasher when its open.

Oh yes, and hanging out with that brother of yours. You watch him intently and seek to do whatever he does, play with whatever he's playing with. He doesn't always like sharing with you, but he loves you to bits. He is always asking to hold you (but of course you squirm away). He is always trying to hug you (but of course its more like tackling you).

Tommy can get a little rough with you sometimes, but you're pretty tough. Little-brother tough.

Watching the two of you play together is one of my favorite things. I can't wait to see you grow together. Though I'm sure that breaking up fights between you might become a staple of my every-day-life before too long, I know you will love each other and be best buds.

I love that you both have a brother.

And boy, does your daddy love you. It never ceases to amaze me how your sweet-tiny-beautiful-human-being-cuteness can turn your broad-shouldered, rugged manly-man of a father into a marshmallow. He lights up with a huge grin when he sees you after a day away. He's over the moon for you. (And you are always excited to see him, too...you take off run-crawling when you hear his voice coming through the door.)

Your daddy is a fun-rough-and-tumble sorta Daddy. Though you're still a little small for rough-and-tumble (as I'm always reminding him), Daddy always finds a way to include you in the action. You particularly love jumping on the bed (with Daddy's help) with your big brother.

(I think mommies are supposed to object to jumping on the bed...something about monkeys comes to mind...but I don't so much mind. Some of the best times we 4 have are jumping and rolling around on the big pillows and blankets of me and Daddy's big ole bed, dontchya think?)

(By the by, Daddy's a little bummed sometimes 'cause you're a bit of a momma's boy. I secretly sorta like that you are a bit of a momma's boy, but hey, give your daddy a few more of those snuggles. And what the heck, let him put you back to sleep at night too! ;) That would be nice...

...Cause you are not such a fabulous sleeper at night. Nope. We need to work on that little buddy.

But, no matter how many times I end up falling asleep with you in the glider in the middle of the night and wake up hours later with a sore back, or sore neck, or sore legs, you're worth it.

You're worth anything. You're worth everything.

I love you with my life,

my sweet one who is

almost one.

Equinox Thoughts

Spring is officially here, so the calendar says.

I guess the real official day was Saturday. I thought it was Sunday.

I believed it on Sunday. It was lovely on Sunday. The sun shone. No need for coats. My wearing of flip-flops was starting to feel normal and beyond reproach. (I am often chided for I wear them the year-round, whenever I can get away with it without getting frost-bite.)

We got to make our usual trip to Grandma & Grandpa's for Sunday dinner. The sickness of three-quarters of our family had us confined to our household the previous two weeks. (Somehow the plague of our household passed me by, praise be to the heavens.)

Yes, Sunday was lovely. Sunday deserved the title of a spring day.

As for today...meh. Wind and more wind, making that noise that makes me restless as it blows through the eaves of my house. Gray skies again. A little rain, but not the strong, sweet, refreshing kind I adore.

(Come ON, March. Go out like a lamb already. On to the showers and flowers, please.)

But even though there are still days like today where (despite what the calendar says) Winter is hanging on desperately by its fingertips, I can feel that dreary season really is departing. I can feel its final, absolute exit coming soon.

It's like the anticipation of finally getting a deep, prolonged breath of air after being plunged underwater again and again and again.

The spring-cleaning bug is starting to flutter around in my brain. Incessantly. It feels much like the nesting urge that honest-to-goodness attacks me in my late pregnancies. It nags at me constantly, it won't let me rest. I must get things done, I must clean, I must organize, I must awaken and refresh this house after being holed up in it these long months.

Even when I don't have time to do those things (which is, ahem, most of the time) I look around at my home and dream the impossible dream...the dream of all papers thrown out or filed away, cupboards and closets cleaned out and re-organized, clothing and toys and neglected things sorted through and donated or sold or put in storage, surfaces cleared off and dusted and washed and polished.

Ah, the house in my head is a lovely place. A place where every thing sparkles and shines and the only thing left to do is throw open my windows and let the spring breezes carry away the final traces of winter mustiness.

And then I come back to earth and see before me the dishes and laundry and the normal stuff that still isn't (and never truly will be) done.

(Still, its a lovely and inspiring dream.)

I keep thinking, "I can't wait for Jacob's first summer, it will be so fun!"

And then I stop myself and realize his first summer was a year ago.

Really? Yes really.

But he was just 2 and 3 and 4 months old then. Even as a 2nd time mom, I wasn't too keen on venturing out with him in the sun all too often. Especially alone and with my toddler in tow. And I suppose I was just busy. After Jacob arrived in late April and I became responsible for not one but two little human beings, I believe time began to exponentially increase in speed. Here I am nearly one whole revolution of the Earth later, and I honestly feel baffled by how that is possible. Its like I was beamed forward in time somehow and have sustained some kind of partial amnesia...the memories of last spring and summer with my baby have begun evaporating already. (I am getting old. Or I am just not getting enough sleep.)

This spring and summer will be different.

Jacob will be the robust age of 1. (I still can't get over it.)

There will be oodles of trips to the park and the swimming pool and anywhere else fun, picnics and road trips and family reunions and vacations.

And visits to the farmer's market too. I've never been to one of those (I can hear some of my friends saying "REALLY?" Yep, really.). I want to bring fresh, delicious, home-grown things into my house, and I myself am not a gardener or any approximation of a green-thumb bearing human being.

I've been dreaming about experimenting and concocting some fantastic smoothies for the hot days. Mixing up fresh, sweet, cold homemade treats that give my boys colorful mustaches sounds delightful for summer. (I've never made my own smoothies before. I'm excited to try a particular one that involves not only fruit but also spinach...ya know, to sneak in some veggies for the kiddos. Other combination ideas, anyone?)

To state it simply, I am beyond excited about the warmer, lovelier days ahead.

I don't think I've ever craved the spring and summer months as desperately as I do this year.

Jacob's daddy carried him outside on our lovely Sunday afternoon to enjoy the sunshine and fresh air, and to look at the tree that stands outside our home's office window.

A red-headed finch has been visiting that tree. We think he might make a home there. This week we are going to get a bird-feeder for him.

Jacob's daddy put him down on the grass of our front lawn.

I think it was the first time my little one has ever experienced grass.

I was a little sad. It was not soft, tickling green grass. It was stiff, yellow and brown, not yet revived from its months in hibernation.

Jacob didn't want to put his hands on it. He didn't crawl around or explore. He sat in one spot, looking slightly perturbed while tentatively touching the course, strange carpet of our lawn, only to pull his fingers away each time.

That is one of the things I am longing for most...the green, when will the green come? When will the snow on the mountains finally disappear, when will the trees get their leaves and blooms and when will I start hearing the hum of lawnmowers? This is unusual for me to say, but I can't wait for grass that needs mowing. I want to smell through my open windows the scent of fresh-cut, rich, beautiful, vibrant green grass that grows so quickly we can't keep up with it.

A signature of real spring.

No matter what the calendar says, its not quite here yet.

But...its getting there.

Erin Go Bragh

I love Ireland.

I've never been there, but I've already decided I love it.

Those green, enchanting, rolling hills.

(...that so far I've only seen in movies. Ohmigosh, P.S. I Love You. I can't get over that scene, where they first meet on that country road, when she's in Ireland for the first time and lost...you know which one I mean.)

The music.

(I've probably been listening to Enya longer than any other musician on the planet. Though her music felt too mellow today...I was really wishing I had some Riverdance-type stuff to listen to. I Riverdanced for Tommy anyway.)

Those lovely Irish Blessings.

The history. The culture.

And hey, they have castles.

(We have a lot in the U-S-of-A but we don't have castles.)

I fully plan to visit the Green Isle one day.

(...on my dream tour of Europe that will also include England, Scotland, Spain, France, Austria, Italy, Greece, and maybe just a few others.)

But for now I will wear green on St. Patrick's Day and tell my little boys about leprechauns.

(See how I love you Ireland?)

(I love those neighbors of yours, but I don't celebrate any of their national holidays!)

We didn't have any kind of a big to-do about St. Patty's Day at our house, but I found it was a wonderful excuse to make cupcakes.

With green frosting of course.

(I just bought food coloring a few days ago. It is the first food coloring I have owned in 8 years of marriage. It felt momentous...)

Oh yes, and we dusted them with sprinkles too. Tommy wanted not only green but also pink, blue and orange.

(And leprechauns are all about rainbows, right?)

I am always trying to find excuses to make cupcakes lately.

I love 'em.

The husband prefers cookies.

And cookies will always have my heart,

But oh, Betty Crocker, I am into the cupcake thing these days.

And I hear cupcakes are "In" right now.

(Not that I really know or care much at all about what is "In." Don't you know me?)

While I was busy mixing the frosting into a lovely shade of green, Tommy said emphatically to the cupcakes,

"You're gonna get frosted!"

(Kinda like a warning.)

And then a moment later, he said to me,

(very matter-of-factly)

"I speak cupcake."

(I kid you not.)

Boy, did I laugh.

*
*
*
*
*

(P.S.
I took some mighty cute photos of me wee leprechauns to post but the computer is telling me some rubbish about how it can't download me photos for whatever odd reason....*and I make a growling-type, irritated noise here)

Oh wow oh wow...

My baby is just ten days away from turning 11 months

That is practically One.

I'm freaking out. I'm freaking out.

This first year went by so, SO much faster than my first baby's first year.

I can hardly believe it.

It almost doesn't seem fair.

When you have two kids it is a lot harder to just sit back and soak it all up.

All the moments.

I suppose I should get used to it, because this family will definitely have more kids someday!

(At LEAST 4.)

(At least 4 TOTAL that is, not 4 more.)

(But you never know I guess!)

I'm very sad I haven't written more about my sweet baby Jake in these first months.

Every month I've thought,

"6 months! I need to write!"

"9 months! I need to write!"

And now his birthday is quickly approaching.

Same thing with Thomas.

4 years old in July.

So much about him hasn't been written either.

It would take volumes.

He came in to tell me about his victories with Play-doh just now.

I gave him great big squeezes and told him about all the fun things we're going to do this spring!

The day is still slightly chill and snow is still on the mountains, but the sun is out and

OH, it is glorious.

It makes me feel my love for my children even deeper in my bones.

I just want sun and green and blooms and to go out and walk around in it all.

With my dear, beloved, sweet, beautiful little boys.

(Life is not perfect and parenthood is hard, so hard at times,

but I love my boys,

Oh do I.)

Church, Boo-boos, and Hockey

(It drives me crazy when I'm not timely with writing! I started this over 2 weeks ago but never finished. That's what happens when I get long-winded...)

Tommy gave his very first talk in Primary on Sunday, February 21st.

His teachers sent him home with a little slip a couple weeks beforehand with the date and topic. It felt surreal to me that my first baby was already old enough to give a talk in Primary! I've still been trying to get over the fact that he's old enough to be in Primary. Ever since Tommy graduated from Nursery to Primary at the beginning of the year, I've been a little nostalgic...It was surprisingly hard for me to have to watch him leave Nursery forever! No more toys and playtime, no more snacktime. Its just the first of many ways he's leaving behind being little. He always loved Nursery and I was so worried that Sunbeams would disappoint him when he realized how different it would all be. He did have a hard time saying goodbye to us when we dropped him off the first several Sundays, but I think he's starting to get pretty used to it now.

*Sigh* He's growing up at lightspeed and its starting to freak me out. Although all the milestones are fun to watch, its hard for me to see him leave each one behind forever, and then move so quickly to the next!

Anyway! The talk, the talk. The subject was "Through the atonement of Jesus Christ, all mankind may be saved." Wow. The Atonement. Heavy topic for a Sunbeam. Okay. I just wrote a simple little talk for him, keeping it very basic, and we brought a favorite picture of Jesus that we keep in the house to show the Primary. Tommy did great. He repeated the words I whispered nice and clear. It was adorable. At one point when I was listening to him say the words I kind of choked up a teensy, tiny bit for a split second because it was so, so cute and sweet. I was so proud of him.

*I'm so bummed that I didn't get a picture of him before or after church that day!*

I'll confess I was a little nervous about how his talk would go. He was very excited about it and we practiced and had several discussions about it and everything, but I had been worried he would do one of two things...like 1) Freeze up with nervousness and refuse to say anything I whispered to him, because he can go from being a ham to being shy in a nanosecond. Or, 2) He would get all silly, ignore what I was telling him to say and start putting on a show up at the microphone...because he is a ham! He has been dying to talk at the microphone ever since he started Primary. He's tried to escape his teachers during sharing time and wander to the front trying to get to the podium. The Primary Presidency told me they've even let him sit with them up front a time or two.

He was even a bit naughty before his talk...he got to sit up front while he waited for his turn, but several times he got out of his chair and snuck behind the conducting Primary Presidency member to draw on the chalkboard. I wanted to intervene but I was sitting in the very back row, so calling to him or going up front to sit him back down definitely would have been disruptive. So Ryan and I just exchanged amused/embarrassed glances with one another until the Primary Pres. Member realized she had a little artist behind her and sat him back down. Twice.

Bless their hearts, those Primary Presidencies. They're so patient and tolerant. I've never had a calling in Primary at all...Nursery, but never Primary...so its been years and years since I had been in a Primary sharing time. As I sat there in the few minutes before Tommy's talk, watching these dear women trying to run sharing time through all the commotion made by wiggly, restless, talkative little ones, man did I appreciate them. It appears to me a very overwhelming, exhausting calling! I hope I never, ever get called into a Primary Presidency. And, I just doomed myself to getting called to one someday, right there, just wait and see...

*******************************************************

It turned out to be a weekend of not just one but two milestones for the Tommy-nator.

Because, the night before Tommy gave his first talk in Church,

He got his first set of stitches.

5 of 'em, in his chin. Yep!

There's really not even an interesting story to it! He was just playing in our tile entryway, crawling around down on all fours, and he stumbled on his own arms, fell and *SmAcK*...split open his chin on the tile. We didn't know there was anything wrong with his chin at first because he buried his head in his daddy's shoulder and cried for several minutes, and wouldn't let us look at his face. I was worried he'd knocked a tooth out...he's already come close to doing that once. When he finally pulled away and I saw the blood on Ryan's shirt, of course I did the mommy thing and freaked out a bit. I freaked out a little more when Ryan told me Thomas had a gash on his chin and almost immediately thereafter, "I think he's going to need stitches."

Stitches scare me. I've never had them and so I've always imagined all kinds of scary things about the experience. For the longest time I didn't know that they numb the area before they stitch it. I thought you just sat there and lived through the pain of being sewn up with needle and thread. Was extremely glad when I found out that wasn't true.

We studied the war wound a bit (which surprisingly wasn't bleeding that much) and decided to send a photo to Ryan's Mom on her phone...she's a nurse and we're always calling her with medical questions. As soon as she saw it she told us it would definitely need stitches. It wasn't a very long gash, not even an inch, but it was gaping pretty wide open. We showed Tommy the photo of it on Ryan's phone and he said it looked like a "little mouth." Ha!

Aside from being sad about Tommy's busted chinny-chin, I couldn't believe the bad timing. When Tommy fell, we were *literally* about to walk out the door to go somewhere...to my brother Travis' last college hockey game ever. He plays hockey for BYU, he's graduating in April, and it was the last game of the season. We'd been particularly lousy at going to his games...we had only gone to one other game the whole season. So I was bummed not only that my little baby had to get stitches, but because we were probably going to miss my brother's very last game. But hey, we thought, at least we were already ready to walk out the door to go to the doctor!

And though it was a Saturday night, we were able to get right in to get Tommy stitched up. I love our Pediatrician's office, Utah Valley Pediatrics. The office we go to is actually one of several sister clinics all over Utah County, and each clinic takes turns being open on holidays and weekends. We were able to call in and get an appointment just about an hour and a half later. And our co-pay for an after-hours visit was just $25. I was so glad we didn't have to go to the Instacare or heaven forbid, the ER. I've never had to go to the ER, but I've heard nothing but horrible stories about how awful it is to take your kids there, especially with how long you have to wait.

So after a trip to the McDonald's drivethru for dinner and to cheer Tommy up, we took him to see the Doc. The clinic that was open for afterhours wasn't our regular clinic, but everyone there was fantastic. When we showed up they just put a numbing gel on Tommy's chin and let it sit for about 20 minutes while we watched Curious George on their TV. Tommy was totally fine and happy, and even Jacob was a trooper and stayed conveniently asleep in his stroller the whole time we were at the doctor's.

The numbing gel they used was actually a preparation for the numbing shot...so nice because after the 20 minutes Tommy's chin was already so numb that when he got the shot he didn't feel it at all. Ryan had warned me that the worse part of stitches is getting the numbing shot, and I was not looking forward to Tommy's screaming when he realized he had to get a shot. Even though his chin was already numb and he didn't feel it when they gave him the shot, we had a lovely, kind young nurse who kept Tommy's attention on her and he never even saw the needle or knew he got a shot at all.

And he was such a big kid while he got stitched up. The nurse and doctor asked him all sorts of questions about himself and he laid so still while they gave him "whiskers" (their cute nickname for stitches). Tommy did awesome. I was truly so relieved when what I always thought would be a scary, painful, traumatic experience wasn't really that bad at all.

BUT, that doesn't mean I want to encounter stitch-inducing calamities with my children again...I'm all worried now whenever either of the boys play in the tile entryway. I shoo them away onto the much softer hardwood of the kitchen.

********************************************************

Oh yeah, and we did manage to make it to my brother's hockey game....for the last 6 minutes of the last period anyway. Oh well. At least I got to see him play one last time! And the Cougars WON! Against Boise State, 3-2. BOO-yah!


Band-aid chin boy was in high spirits, even though he had just barely come from getting his stitches. (Jake is MIA in my pics because he continued to be an awesome little trooper, sleeping in his carseat pretty much the whole evening!)

Love my bro. (Don't he look dapper? He always dresses up after the games.)

These guys love my bro. (No one's hotter than Kotter, yeah! and that's D-"Fence" if you're wondering =)

Tommy loves his uncle.

Tommy loves the Zamboni.

Afterwards we all celebrated with my bro over a late-night breakfast at IHOP, like so many times before.

Gonna miss that. =)

Again, to March

I think I just might be doomed to loathe you for all time.
(I am trying oh so hard not to use that word, hate...)

I had hope for you this year, you arrived with such sunshine.

But then I remembered,
you are you.
you quickly did what you always do
you fickle, tempestuous month

You bombarded us with cold new snow
and blank grey skies
then teased us, again, with warmth and sun
for a day or an hour or a second or two
only to withdraw it
again
and these last few days you've tested my patience
with your delivery of cold, hard winds
that shake the very panes of my windows.

But NOW,
you've completely abolished any desire I had for a truce with you
by deeming it necessary to bestow
one last heartless dose
of particular misery
upon our household
with SICKNESS.

All three of my dear boys, one by one, have become feeble and infirm thanks to you.

My husband has an official case of pneumonia and the poor man wheezes all day and night.

My two wee ones are not nearly so bad, but they have hot little foreheads and their lungs bark in protest to what we call "the germies." I am taking them to see their Doc tomorrow.

Tonight I hear each poor boy coughing in turn,
tossing in their beds
struggling for rest
And I venture continuously to the room of my dearest little one
to cradle and rock and soothe him back to sleep.

You couldn't even spare him, you rotten pack of days, you.

It is probably a MIRACLE that I am not sick myself
(yet)
But I think deep down its because I refuse to give in
to your last efforts at torture.

I have 3 boys to take care of.

I don't have time for your tantrums.

Get thee hence,
thank you very much.

Dear March,

Usually I disdain you.
Usually
when you arrive each year
I sigh impatiently
in grim anticipation
of your lingering winter
and long procession of
blah
days.
But,
you behaved yourself rather well today.
There just might be some hope for you.
Keep it up with the sunshine, if you please.
Thank you very much.